I can't stand it anymore!!

We must either hold a funeral for the blog,and graciously let it go to the happy hunting grounds, or it must be given new life. But no more of this lifeless existence. Effervescence my friends! Laura, I, and now Donald (for significantly longer than Laura and I) will be away from all you lovely people for several months, and need our link to the circle we left behind, intellectual conversation with the brilliant geniuses (is that redundant or what) in Abilene. So, since it would be rather hypocritical of me to simply bemoan the state of the blog without doing anything about it, I will attempt to pose a thoughtworthy, well, thought. Ahem...

What do you all think of the concept of identity? Do you ever think to yourself, what if I'm really not the person that I fancy myself being? You'd like to think of yourself as philosophical, analytical, creative, artsy, whatever, fill in the blank, but then you look at yourself and wonder in it's just sort of an act or your forcing something that isn't really there. Do other people see the 'real' us, or do they see what we want to be seen. Thoughts, comments, reprimands, rebuttals?

return of the native

hey, sorry, i don't really have a way of communicating with most of y'all back home, so i figured i would take advantage of this system here. forgive me, it's not really a post. more like an invitation.
mis padres are having a party (not for me, it's a church party), and i've been told that i can invite all my friends who i haven't seen in nearly four months now. so if you're still in town on friday night, you're welcome. in fact, your company is greatly desired. i don't know details, but if anyone is interested i'll supply those. :) good luck on finals, everyone.

Birthday Serenade

Hint: Name the pictures as you go through. I'll comment in a few days and tell you the lyrics. :)

Repairing Past Damage

So I've been thinking a lot about how the world views Christianity. I really want to be able to reach out to the people around me and share my faith with them, but I know that Christianity has a bad rep, and for good reasons. Past events (especially the Crusades and the corruption of the Church during the Renaissance) are still remembered around the world. Throughout history, "Christians" have persecuted Jews, Muslims, and various other religious groups in the name of God. More recently, right-wing conservative "Christians" have been condemning everyone around them. I actually know of churches that teach that if you don't go to their denomination, or worse yet, their particular congregation, then you are going to hell. And of course, there is always the big scandal over Catholic bishops that occured recently. The truth is, the world tends to focus on the negative, and they have a lot to choose from here.
Although I can't condemn others (because there is no way for me to truly see their hearts), I do want to help people see that Christianity isn't about hatred; it's about love. I want to show the world God's love, and that God didn't call people to persecute others but to minister to them. I want to help people physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I want to be accepting of others and show that I am willing to listen and learn. On the other hand, I can't just accept everything as true. As a Christian, there are certain beliefs that I have to stand by. There are certain thigs that I have to say are absolutes, and I have to believe in them with my whole heart. If I could believe strongly OR be accepting, my task would be easy, but I'm asked to do both. I have no idea where that line is. So I guess my question is, how do you do that? How do you compassionately stand for something? How do you make sure your words and actions remain consistent with your beliefs without unnecessarily offending people? When is it okay to offend people?

to go or stay. to dream of then or live now.

Let's start with some things we know. I'm attending a Christian University. I am majoring in graphic design. The mission of my university is ‘To educate students for Christian leadership service throughout the world.’ So I wonder, how do those things match up? When does the formal education stop and the leadership and service begin? I have a couple of roommates, whom I admire greatly, seriously and practically discussing just that. How much education does it take to serve and lead? Sure, there are a lot of people hurting in Abilene. We should help them. There are thousands of people in our country in desperate need. We should help them. There are tons of people to help them. What about the thousands of children in Liberia living on the streets without parents or even the shelter of orphanages? What's stopping us from going there? How much education is needed to love? How much knowledge is needed before our feet hit the ground running? How far will we go to trust? How far do we need to go to trust?
I hear my roommates talk about getting to places of great need as soon as arrangements can be made, and I want to be at that point with them. I want to take nothing but what I carry in my heart and head and go.

Then I get a call from a sister. My sister calls me, and I can tell, even over the phone, that she's broken-hearted and pulling her ever amazing trick of hiding it. I want to take nothing except what fits in my heart and head and get out of here... again. It becomes difficult to pin down just which place needs more help.

It seems this whole semester has been me struggling with wanting to be some place other than the place I am in. What I've been deciding is... I'm in a place. Live here! Regardless of views of God's will and whether He or I have landed me here, I am here. I'm going to school. I'm part of this community. So I need to be living in it and being thankful with every day.

Something's still bothering me, though. What about being called to other places? Do I so avoid the call of God that I'm rationalizing too much? I listen to my pod-mates, and I feel like a coward. I'm failing to see how my graphic design degree is of vital importance to the kingdom. Biology/Biochemistry majors acquire medical knowledge and go out to help people. Bible majors acquire knowledge to have better insight into people’s situations and such. Graphic designers... well they... hmmm... oh yeah… aaahh… get people's attention? What?! How sad. What a pitiful calling if that's all there is to it. So finally, an outright question... Do you all ever wonder about this stuff? Do you ever feel like you're rationalizing your way around the call of God? Have you (hopefully) come upon a God-formed conclusion? Pray tell... : )

That was lengthy a little.

swine of the blog

It stikes me that our blog is kind of sad. I think this might have two main reasons. One: We've talked about everything! Now, this is obviously not true. There are tons of things we haven't talked about, but we've covered a lot of things in the past year or so. I know we all still have things we wonder about or are passionate about or we want opinions on. This is me encouraging you all to blog about them (before I do something crazy like blog about dating and purity! : ) Noooooo! ) Two: The majority of us live in a pod together. We hear each other's opinions every Friday or, for that matter, anytime we ask (and sometimes when we don't). So this is me encouraging those of you who don't live in the pod (coughkaylacoughcough) to not feel like blog hogs! Please, blog more than once in a row if you're so inclined. Someone will tell you if you're taking over the blog. I can even threaten people so they will comment if you want me to do so. : ) Postscript... Still working on the pictures.

thoughts from exile

One of the classes that I'm taking in this inspiring setting is Christain Worship. I just signed up for it because it was upper division bible credit, and I might as well take something. But Janine Morgan, the professor, is a pushy person; I think she's gonna make me stretch or something tragic.
All that to preface a question. How do you balance awe and reverance of God with seeking an intimate relationship with him? I keep thinking of Esther. She couldn't even approach her husband without fearing for her life. All she had going for her was beauty and sex appeal. Are we supposed to live in fear and trembling before the Omnipotent One or with delight at the thought of the Bridegroom coming for us? How does this effect our worship? Can there be a balance?

oxfordian life

hey, i don't want to cut off the wit started by DPS, but i thought i'd let everyone know that i created a blog to report my traveling and life overseas in case anyone is interested. theramblingrambler.blogspot.com i miss y'all guys.

Okay, seriously now...

So, I think it has now been proven that it is summer and our brains are protesting all serious thought. However, as we only have a week or so left before we must jump into full brain-power mode, perhaps we should at least put our big toe in the water (unless you chose to cut that one off). So here's a question. Someone at my grandparents church used the term "quasi-Church of Christ". Now I have no idea what exactly he meant because the conversation didn't really go on or have to do with that, but anyway, I immediately start to get defensive and ready to argue (in my head of course) Judgement and division and such in the church are a problem. Given. A lot of times when I encounter a person that I feel is being very close-minded and exclusive as far as church things go, I know that my personal reaction is to get kinda upset and feel like they are wrong. But...my judgement of what I perceive as judging could be just as equally wrong. So how do you go about differences of opinion and interpretation? And I must add just to be honest here, that I often don't really have a founded opinion on things, I simply argue the opposite of what people say when they are saying that only one thing is right. (i.e. instrumental music, expression in worship, etc.) Just thought this would be interesting to get everyone's thoughts on (yes i ended my post with a prepostion).

Total Rip-off of Mel's Post

Okay, so actually, this isn't a total rip-off. It's actually much less fun. But yeah, I just thought it would be interesting to know what annoys &/or makes you guys mad. Beyond the obvious curiousity, I though it would be nice to know this sort of thing before we were actually living together (so that some unnecessary arguments can be avoided). And for those of you that won't be pod-ites, I'm also interested in your response just because I'm horribly nosy.

1)People being condescending makes me mad.
2)Annoying/sleazy customers hitting on me at work makes me mad and annoys me.
3)People tailgating me annoys me (which is bad because I totally tailgate people too), and...
4)people cutting me off annoys me (I don't really do that though).
5)Having no time by myself makes me really cranky (and by that I mean somewhat evil), but I'm not usually the first to notice.
6)People being inconsiderate of other people's time annoys me and can make me mad if it happens a lot.

Umm. I'm out for the moment. So let me know your personal pet-peeves.

So, I have no life. And the last post seems to have reached it's pinnacle of comments, so I deemed it time for a new topic of discussion. This will be light hearted and smiley, but what makes each of you happy? What makes you tick? (insert deep drawl in this comment for those movie nighters amongst you) Little things or big things, we can get to know a lil more about each other.

a post entitled... how dumb am i. (a statement, not a question so don't try just looking at the title and telling me how dumb I really am because that

would be mean). That's the end of the title that wouldn't fit in the title section... and I'm mostly joking.

So I'm having this ‘thought/small revelation’ right now. It kinda reminds me of a previous post by Marcella about sackcloth and ashes... so I realized today how dumb I am. I do horrible things continually. Take tonight for instance. I just had a really great Bible study with some younger girls from my church and then practically right afterward (we hadn't even left the room) my cousin, who was also there, and I started arguing about something pointless that wasn't even worth the effort and in fact was just a big misunderstanding (which we worked out after we chilled, by the way). At least that one had a redeeming quality. I've done worse things recently that haven't had redeeming qualities so much... like call someone OCD (rudely) when I could have figured on them being embarrassed and upset because of who we were around. Or... get upset and defensive when a friend stomps on my art piece that I had even said wasn't that great. : ) There are more where this came from, and I wish I had time to list them all because I think I need to dwell on them a little more than I often do. But for now... on to the point.

I'm not saying any of this stuff so people can come back with well-intended comments that tell me that it's OK that I mess up, or that I'm not really a horrible person. I'm also not just pointing out that I mess up and feel bad and beat myself up mentally. I'm posting this because I was amazed again tonight how God really doesn't need me. He's perfect without my help (surprising since I generally think few beings are. Gah!). In fact, sometimes I think he works better 'on the fly' with my mistakes because when I mess up it’s the only time he seems to get through with the message... 'Laura, you're not self-sufficient or even just sufficient most of the time!' All I do is mess it up. He's the one doing things correctly. Nice.

I think all I need now is to have this kind of experience at least once a week so maybe I'll finally get what Paul was saying... I like it when stuff really sinks in like this and you get it even if it's just for a second. Say it with me now... 'It's not about myself.' Aaaaahhh. Didn’t that feel nice? I'd also like to say ignore Humanism… and… this is our 51st post. Lovely job, Gang.

Warning: What you are about to read is neither orignial, thought provoking, nor deep


I was just wondering what you guys were thinking and or think about social clubs. Are you going to pledge? If so, why? If not, why? If so, which club? If you're already in a club, do you enjoy it? Is the time/money commitment worth it? If you have passed up the opportunity, do you feel like you've missed out on anything of consequence? Just wanted some opinions. It's so much easier than thinking for myself... :P

Memory

This is not at all to distract from the previous two posts. You guys should really go back and read/comment on Melanie's stuff before you even start this. Seriously!!! They're much more important topics. This is just a personal thing.

Okay, so I was reading Elie Wiesel's Nobel Lecture from 1986 online. And I wanted to share an excerpt:

"Of course we could try to forget the past. Why not? Is it not natural for a human being to repress what causes him pain, what causes him shame? Like the body, memory protects its wounds. When day breaks after a sleepless night, one's ghosts must withdraw; the dead are ordered back to their graves. But for the first time in history, we could not bury our dead. We bear their graves within ourselves.

For us, forgetting was never an option.

Remembering is a noble and necessary act. The call of memory, the call to memory, reaches us from the very dawn of history. No commandment figures so frequently, so insistently, in the Bible. It is incumbent upon us to remember the good we have received, and the evil we have suffered. New Year's Day, Rosh Hashana, is also called Yom Hazikaron, the day of memory. On that day, the day of universal judgment, man appeals to God to remember: our salvation depends on it. If God wishes to remember our suffering, all will be well; if He refuses, all will be lost. Thus, the rejection of memory becomes a divine curse, one that would doom us to repeat past disasters, past wars."

http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/1986/wiesel-lecture.html

So as I'm reading this, I'm thinking about myself.(And no, for all of you who know what I was thinking about, I'm not quite brave enough to post it on this blog yet. Maybe someday, but not now. And if you're confused, facebook message me and I'll talk to you there.) Not that anything in my life can compare to the atrocities of WWII, but anyway, I was thinking about how much I relate to this idea, of desperately wanting to forget the past and yet realizing that forgetting isn't the right thing to do, nor is it even really possible. And I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this, but I guess I'm wondering, why is trying to forget our defense mechanism? What should we do with painful memories, if forgetting is ultimately worse than remembering? And how do you remember without feeling like you did about it at the time? How do you heal? How do you turn past wrongs into present opportunities to do God's work in the world?

I guess I should just up my Zoloft, but those are my thoughts and I wanted to share. And I seriously do want input, since I can't talk to you guys in person right now.

Not to distract from the previous post...since I wrote it. Yes, I am unashamedly calling you delinquent bloggers to comment on the post below. But, I wanted to ask a new question. What do you guys think about current day prophecy and how it plays out in day to day life? Some could say that I was prophesied to the other day at work. It was sorta weird. Thoughts?

Hmmm....moment

So, my spark of inspiration came from a somewhat unlikely occasion: a graduation address. These speeches are not where you might expect to receive philosophically or thought provoking ideas, but this was in fact the case of the graduation address at the homeschool graduation I attended to watch my friend Linda (some of you may recall me mentioning her, her mom died a few weeks before we got out of school). Anyway, the speaker was telling the graduates how they had been growing and were taking steps and graduating from stages, but that they were not done yet. Typical topic. But, he was comparing it to the Bible, saying that the whole story of the Bible was the maturing of God's people and how he was growing them. This was an interesting thought because of what you can extrapolate from the idea. How do explain how we've gone from cavemen with crude cave drawings to launching tons of steel to far reaching corners of space? We have problems reconciling this apparent evolution (little "e") or progression of humanity. God didn't mess up the first time and start creating better models. But what if we go with the idea that the whole world is God's work to mature His creation. All of humanity is God's story of development. We are not less intelligent when we are babies, we just don't know as much, we are not as developed. As adults we still have the same parts, but we know differently how to use them. Can we apply this to history? The stone age like an infant, the bronze age a toddler, moving on up to present times as the human race grows more mature? Perhaps this explains the apparent betterment of society, new discoveries, new technology, etc. We are not better, just older. We are people in a later phase of the maturing process of God's people. Also, perhaps this maturing idea can also explain law/grace. Why was the law abolished? Or was it? Why was the law holy and perfect and then insufficient? Returning to the idea of our human development. The speaker talked about how as a little child you have to be under lots of rules. You have to ask when you can eat, if it's okay to cross the street, you must have someone holding your hand. As we grow older, the layers of rules as pulled away as our parents hope that we internalize their teachings and they trust us to make our decisions wisely. If we say that the Bible is the story of maturing of God's people, then perhaps that is a way to look at the 'switch' from law to grace. In their infancy, God's people needed a structure, a law, to show them how to follow their father, but as the people grew and matured, God was able to let His law live in the hearts of His people. Christ's death and ressurrection fulfilled the law, like a parent letting a child go to begin life on their own. God let us live in grace, apart from the law. So, it's not that the law is bad, or insufficient, but perhaps we just graduated from it. I'm not trying to say that these ideas are in any way true or biblically supported. But the ideas the speaker presented struck a chord of logic in me and was one of those 'aha' moments where it was like...hmm...this could make sense of some things. I thought it was a blog-worthy subject and offer it up to the brilliant minds to process.

i miss minter. sad.

Praise God, from whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, you heavenly hosts.
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Amen.


Did you all know this is the last verse of a longer song called "Awake, My Soul, and With the Sun"? The guy who wrote it actually had it sung at his funeral which was held at sunrise. I think that's a really cool idea. I think I want my funeral to be held at sunrise. After all, I won't have to wake up for it. : ) I miss Minter Lane (that includes you all as well).

My Life as a Teenage Mother

For those of you who don't know, Marcella and I are house-sitting/baby-sitting for the Cukrowski family while Ken and Karen are in Russia. I'm having a blast! The girls are amazing, TiVo is the most wonderful invention ever, and I honestly enjoy being in this house; I feel really at home here.
All my life, I've gone through cycles regarding motherhood and homemaking. On the one hand, as much as I love my mother, I don't want to be her. She's a wonderful woman, but I have absolutely no desire to be Martha Stewart and raise kids. I want to work, to be a doctor, and I always have. But on the other hand, I honestly enjoy cooking, cleaning, and spending time with kids. However, the feminist in me rebels against those impulses because those are the exact things that women are expected to do. So I went through a rather long phase where I claimed that I would not have children or get married, or if I did, that my husband would stay home with the kids and be Mr. Mom and I would be the one to work all day and then come home to a clean house and a good meal. And to be honest, I still like that idea to some extent.
But I've come to realize over the last two weeks that, although I still plan on being a doctor and working, and although I still like the idea of my future husband staying home with the kids (I don't like the idea of a nanny or day-care), I think that maybe someday I'll be a mom and keep a nice home. I mean, I'll never be your stereotypical 50s housewife, and I don't want to, but I do think that maybe I can find some balance that will keep the feminist in me happy while the part of me that really enjoys being "mommy" can do that too.
So I don't know that there's really a question in this, or even a real point, but I just wanted to share with you guys. And I still miss you all. And I really will get on AIM to talk eventually.
Oh, btw, if you want a question, I've thought of one. How do you balance work and family? I mean, obviously, it's something you have to come up with as you go along to some extent, and I already have some ideas of my own, but how do you guys plan to handle it? Or do you even know? Okay, that's all. And you really don't have to answer the question. But if you want to, I always appreciate your wisdom.

Summer, Part 2

So I noticed at church on Sunday how empty the auditorium is when all the college students have left. When I was in high school (and 8th grade) I noticed that the auditorium seemed a little empty, of course, but never really. I didn't really care so much, because I had superficial relationships with the college students, at best. Everyone I cared about was around all year (vacations excepted, of course).
This Sunday was sad, though. Not that I didn't like the people who were still here. And I would have sat with Jenny Garrison on Mother's Day no matter what. But it was still sad that everyone was gone. And it's going to be like that all summer.
Which leads me to another point... How do those of you who go away for the summer feel about going home? Obviously, you have a new set of experiences to share with your friends and family, and a lot of catching up to do. But other than that, is it the same?
What exactly is home? How long does it take for home to change?
Okay, that's all. And it wasn't that profound. Mainly I wanted to tell everyone that I miss them desperately. And I know you don't like blogging about daily life, Laura, but make sure you let us know how you're doing, even if you don't tell us every single thing about your day.
I hope everyone has a wonderful week. I'll start thinking about a real post now, and hopefully I'll have something more profound to put up soon.
Oh, and btw, Michelle and Laura, I've started Alias. Stupid suspenseful endings! I'm going to kill you both. : )

Summer . . .

It dawned on me today that I don't know what half of y'all are doing this summer. So would you humor me and tell me what your plans are? I'm going to be working ACU Leadership Camps here, so if you're near Abilene you should come see me on the weekend. :) I hope finals go well for everyone, and that your summer is blessed.

Umm... My Bad, Y'all

First off, I want to apologize to all the non-Shalom people for this post. It's in-house business, but honestly, I figured that this would be the easiest way to talk to you guys about it...

Okay, so I said I would order Simply Christian a long time ago, and I still haven't. I'm sorry. But here's the deal: The cheapest I've found it online is like $13 plus shipping (which is usually around $5) and I just don't feel comfortable ordering $18 books without talking to everyone first. So at this point, if you want to get them before the summer, I either need to know like tomorrow that that's what we want to do, or we just need to get them however we want separately.

Okay, that's all. Let me know what you want to do. I'm happy with whatever. And I'm sorry that I've put this off until the last minute. I just honestly didn't realize how close to the end of school it is. But I'm still sorry and you can beat me for procrastinating if you want.

For Efficacy's Sake

I heard one of the most distinctly applicable Christian realizations shortly ago from a rather eccentric man. He said something to the effect of the following: "Christians are notorious for one thing in this society above all other. We use the worst deep grammar ever. That is to say that when someone says 'Lord, we know you are among us because we can feel your presence,' the first question to any atheist is, 'Ok, so can you actually explain what that "feels" like?' and we do not, quite frankly have an answer for it."

I do not mean to imply that we are mistaken in so many things that we say, but simply that it seems we are often careless when we fail to consider that those we mean to reach out to simply think us fools, not because the message of the cross is foolishness to them (though it often is as a sidepoint), but because we speak foolishly and carry on without thinking about what we actually say. I cringe at statements like "as surely as the Lord lives, etc." or something of the sort, simply because what follows is rarely so sure as that. I wonder at the audacity with which we address certain issues that we claim to believe so firmly on because it has been made clear in scripture what stance the Lord has on it, yet when confronted with societal opposition we cower behind "opinion" so as not to offend. Quite frankly, Paul makes it clear that the cross cannot help being offensive at times. Granted, the one thing that can be seen as an absolutely certainty concerning undeniable truths is that there will always be someone willing to deny them, but that does not keep us from speaking them where they are required.

It is a concern I think must be dealt with soon before it becomes too much an epidemic to even realize the existence of later on.

Soul Force

So I hate to cut the discussion of Barret short... (I know Doug will be especially crushed)
As everyone at ACU knows, Soul Force is coming to campus on Monday. And we have been engaging in some discussions concerning the upcoming event. All this discussion has me thinking about the balance between not judging and keeping one's standards. Obviously, this is a tough line to draw, and no one is going to have the perfect answer, but I think it's a topic worth discussion. How and when is it appropriate to confront people? When should we just keep our mouths shut? All of this is really important to think about, since most of us won't be spending the rest of our lives in the buckle of the Bible Belt.
In my opinion, I think confrontations should be done very carefully, and only in certain circumstances. I feel like confronting someone with whom you have a very intimate relationship (not in a sexual way) is very appropriate, but otherwise I think it's best to avoid passing judgement. Coming across as too harsh is, in my opinion, one of the best ways to drive people away from Christ.
On the other hand, I'm not going to ignore my values or go against them just because I'm with people who don't feel the same way about things. Just because everyone around me isn't acting the way I think they should doesn' t mean that I can't. If people ask why I don't do certain things (or do certain things), I'm more than happy to tell them. But that's a door that they need to open for themselves. Of course, if I'm close to somebody I will be more likely to express my opinion and tell them what they should do, but if you're just acquaintances I hardly think that's appropriate.
Anywho, comment. I want to know what you guys think, whether or not you agree with me. I obviously don't have all the answers, but now at least I'm asking the right questions.

Feelings

Sorry about the title, but I couldn't come up with anything witty...
So I've been thinking a lot about feelings and the effects they have on life lately. CS Lewis says that feelings are a lot less important than actions. For instance, if you act like you love someone, regardless of a lack of warm fuzzies, your actions will lead you to love. I'm pretty sure that I agree on this point; actions speak louder than words and if you act a certain way long enough it eventually becomes a feeling as well, at least usually. But this really has very little to do with my particular question.
What I'm really wondering is if depression is a rejection of Christ's love and comfort. My aunt told me one time that if I really loved Christ I wouldn't be depressed. I'm not inclined to take her seriously (for a number of reasons), but I've heard similar things from a lot of people. So I'm just wondering if somehow the fact that I have trouble dealing with stuff means I'm not allowing the Spirit to work in my life. I wonder if I'm allowing myself to feel bad for some bizarre masochistic reason when in actuality all I have to do is embrace the comfort Christ freely gives. Obviously, I need Christ to heal me in numerous ways. I'm not saying that that isn't still true. I'm just wondering if it's quite as extreme as some people make it.
Anywho, this is something that has really been bothering me lately (as opposed to a purely hypothetical discussion), so I'd really appreciate thoughts.

reserves... oh what a feeling.

Since there's an obvious lack of people feeling compelled to blog here... I think I'll delve into the reserve topics and hope people feel more like commenting than they do posting. Watch out. Some of us have talked about this already, but it will be good to reiterate and get new ideas from other people as well. So as big of a topic as it is, let's talk about prayer. I think to make is easier I'll just pose one question and we can discuss it for awhile or whatever and then we can move on to other topics or we can keep talking about prayer if people have more questions they would like to post about. *coughreallyloudlycoughandincesantlycoughcough Up to y'all.

I'm wondering what you guys think about a certain way of feeling during prayer. I find a lot of times I end up trying to 'compose my heart' and make it Feel a certain way instead of focusing on the actual thoughts that are being conveyed one way or another. Good, Bad, Indifferent? Start commenting : )

Haircut!

Keeping blogging.
I just wanted to share a picture of the new Marcella!!!!
For more pictures, go to facebook.

doug posted first, read his.

I don't want to take away from Doug post - we're glad you're here, Douglas - but I just posted on my other blog about Invisible Children and I'd really like some feed back on it. You can comment over there so as to not take away from Doug's post (where you can also comment). I suppose if for some reason you have to, you can also post comments here. Whatever. I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.

Procrastination Station

First off, don't stop commenting on Laura's last entry. I think it deserves some serious discussion. But...


Okay, so I should be doing homework right now. I really should, but instead I'm blogging. And checking email. And looking at other people's blogs. And listening to music. And... you get the picture.
Last year, I was the most dilligent student ever. Okay, not exactly, but I worked really hard. Ask Marcella. Fast forward to this year, and I'm awful. I don't do all of my reading (and by that I mean I do about half). I put off writing papers until the night before they're due. I sleep instead of catching up. I don 't study for tests (or at least, I study very little).
Now to the question, why do I do this? Is there something about college that makes me lazy? I know I'm not the only one here. Why do we procrastinate? We're supposed to be adults, learn responsibility and all that. So why do we put everything off until the last minute? And is this always a bad thing?
Okay, I'm going to do homework now. Seriously.

let's talk - cheesiest title ever!

I've decided that communication is important. I've also decided it's aggravating! I'm sure you've all been there. You have something on your heart to convey, whether it's simple or complex, and you just can't make the person you're talking to understand what you're saying. Maybe I am the only inarticulate one in the group. If that's the case, y'all should help me out! Miscommunication doesn't happen with everyone. There are certain people - more than one – to whom I just cannot seem to make my point clear. It's there. It's all there. The thoughts are clear in my head, but somewhere along the line they get jumbled. So I guess what I'm saying is let's talk about communication. It fascinates me that there are so many different ways of telling and talking and hearing and listening and understanding! It's really complex, and it amazes me quite frequently that we are ever able to convey our points to anyone. Far more amazing than that, to me though, is that God understands every single beat of my heart… and Melanie's heart and Kayla's heart and Michelle's heart... So many different things being communicated, but He's big enough (and at the same time small enough) to hear and comprehend every thought more clearly than we can even imagine. Prayer, though, isn't exactly where I want to go with this post. How do we translate that understanding to our own heads? We are meant to be in community with each other and to do that we HAVE TO actively seek understanding (of one another). Surely the only way to really do this is through the understanding of God like I mentioned before. How do we do that everyday? Where's the switch? :) I'd like to know.

Another thing I've been pondering is what place sarcasm has in communication. This has been addressed some before, but maybe we could talk about it in depth. How does sarcasm build people up? How does it help us understand each other? I think this has quite a bit to do with communication because the obvious opposite to understanding people is making ourselves clearly understood. I'm not sure sarcasm cuts it here. At the same time... it's fun sometimes! It's witty. I, for one, like to be sarcastic (if you knew me before college you would know this to be even more true than it has been at college, really), but where's the line? That is all for now. I think I have more to say, but I'm anxious to hear what you guys have to say before I say more. Maybe y'all will say it for me...

wow, thanks

I would just like to send out a general post to all of you, saying thanks. I am so incredibly blessed to have you all as friends. I'm loving life because I'm surrounded by loving people who offer me their friendship. I'd like to put a shout out there to my amazing roomie Marcella: Marcella, I have really appreciated the way that you have been there as a non-judgemental listening ear recently. Whatever your opinion or desire, you have supported me in my ponderings and I want you to know that I noticed. That sounds to concise and unfeeling to express what I mean, but just know that I love you a whole lot. So, I have now posted twice in succession so I will electronically shut up and leave the blog to new and better posts. I love you all oodles of noodles!

So, calling all you blogger friends. How do you guys analyze what you're feeling? How do you objectively look inside yourself and figure out what is going on? How do you make decisions? I don't know if I am just a stupid fickle girl, or if I've thought/talked my way into feeling a certain way, or there is a logical reason behind all my ponderings and emotions. Right now I feel like my life is paralyzed by unkown and indecision, and I don't know how to escape from that. Or maybe I just prefer chaining myself to indecision because it's easier than being afraid of chaining myself to a decision I'll regret or close myself off to an opportunity I would've wanted. I Just Don't Know! Help!

and kayla posts

My very first post, and I decide to be negative. Go figure.
Let's just say that I had an annoying personal experience lately with someone who is mired in the past. Is there any reason to dwell on past negative experiences? Being filled with self-pity, while granted at times is basically unavoidable, should not be a basis for general every day life. Are some people just not taught how to healthily deal with rejection?
I do not see any reason to complain about something unless I have a serious desire to change it. Sure, sometimes it's a great release of stress to just run off at the mouth about pesky situations. But if it is really a bother, get up and do something about it. Change! It's not the monstrosity some people make it out to be.
Does anyone have insight on how I can learn to have patience with a person wallowing in self-pity? Or is there something that should be done on my part to help others when they are stuck and refusing to move on? Maybe I'm being too harsh, and please forgive me if I am, but I'm fed up with people who shirk the responsibilities that naturally come with living life among other human beings, like dealing with emotions and moving on.

Happy Bunny Thought of the Day

This isn't important. At all. Really. It just makes me happy.

Always remember:
You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family......

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



*Drumroll*



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

But you can choose the insane asylum where you have them all put away.

control issues

So I've been out of the blogging business for a couple of days, and am finally catching up. I'm sorry, Laura. I promise that quitting my job won't keep me from posting. Anywho, my point is that I read the last 3 posts after church today, and I thought Laura's was especially interesting in light of the mini-discussion we had today in class about material goods.
All of my life, I've held the view that it didn't matter how much we had as long as we "used it for Jesus," which seems to be the generally held opinion. But over the summer, and Marcella could probably tell you about this in more detail than I could, we were talking about material possessions in class at church and Jim Cooke said that he thinks it's ridiculous to say that it's all right to be a rich Christian and that having more than we could ever need is just fine as long as we have the right attitude. I think he's right. I don't think Jesus was metaphorically calling us to give up the world and follow him. I think he was telling us that we really do have to give things up. Just how far to go on this, I don't know, but I do know that listening to people defend spending $50k on a car was very frustrating to me. Obviously, I don't practice this very well, but I do think it's important to realize just how pervasive materialism is when we, as Christians, can sit in church defending our materialism.

the red pill or the blue pill?

So this idea got started in my head because of another blog. I'd recommend looking at it because it's kinda cool to hear the opinions going on over there... http://trajan86.blogspot.com/ . They were talking about consuming, more specifically but I think this is a valid question in general as well. I’d like to put forth that every mind in human kind is controlled by something. The majority of the world lets their minds be controlled by things around them in society. In the U.S. the things that do this controlling on a regular basis are (WARNING... generalization ahead) products. We need stuff. We're too busy to make the stuff ourselves. We have to buy stuff. The real problem comes when people are on a search for the best stuff. If it's not the best stuff then it's the newest stuff. If it's not the newest it's the oldest. If it's not the oldest it's the stuff that fits our personality best, our taste. You get the point, I'm sure. Materialism. The general population is controlled by a want for stuff, and because of this they (we) are slaves to the people selling the stuff. Now, I think most people agree with the idea that, in general, Americans are controlled by a want for stuff. If you don’t, feel free to comment on that as well… What I'd like to hear your views about is if there's really a way anywhere to "free our minds" (like in the Matrix : )). Do our minds have to be controlled by something? Free will comes into this and I guess, but what I mean is... is there anyway to put our free will in anything that doesn't control us? As Christians, I think we put our free will in God's hands and let him control us sort of. If we weren't Christians and we had decided we hated Christianity because it was God controlling our minds then wouldn't we be putting our free will into the hands of our defiance? Can we really be, as the Simon and Garfunkel song suggests, “a rock… an island”? Just wondering what y'all thought. Hope that made sense. It was a little hard for me to put down. Apologies.

What's the difference?

So this is starting a new conversation, please feel free to still leave comments in the comment section of previous blogs if you’re not done talking about them…

I once had a friend ask me what the difference about Christians was. I think it’s a really great question and I’ve been thinking about it quite a lot after that, and I start reassessing how that should look in my life. What makes me different? Is it just being a good person? Is that the only way you can see the difference? There are plenty of “good” people in humanity that don’t really call themselves Christians. Since we believe Christ was more than just a good moral teacher, shouldn’t our lives look different than the rest of the world, even the good people, if we are being made into Him?

I’ve heard the term counter-cultural thrown around. This sounds like a great concept from the name of it, but are we misusing it? Are we really set apart from our culture while we’re still surrounded by it? Is there any way to be truly counter-cultural?

The Sound of a Dying Blog

Fizzle fizzle. Is this topic fizzling out? Do we need a new one? Okay. Here's a thought... There's a trend lately of thrill seeking. People are parachuting, bungee jumping, etc. Middle schoolers are playing the choking game, and self-mutilation is at an all time high. Just look at this month's reader's digest and you'll know what I'm talking about. Why is this? Is there some key component missing in our society? Is it because parents aren't watching their kids closely enough? Why are we like this? Give me your thoughts, people.

Dante and other thoughts

So this thought is pretty obviously connected to humanities, but... What do you guys think about the classification of sins? Are sins divided at all, and if so, how? What exactly is sin? Do we sin only by actively rejecting the will of God, or is apathy also a sin?
Important things to think about, no?

God's Love

I think an important thing to point out about God's love is that it isn't always "nice." Obviously, we need to support those around us and show compassion, but it's also important to realize that sometimes the most loving thing to do is sit someone down and tell them that their attitude or behavior isn't acceptable. Also, showing God's love means stepping in where other people aren't and making changes in the world that are sometimes difficult (ie racial integration of the church). Love isn't always making everyone happy. It's about doing what's best for people in the long run. We need to be careful in the way we do this, obviously, but it still needs to be done. So that's not all there is to love, but it is an aspect of love that is often ignored. And that's my profound thought for the day.

So---I'm not exactly sure what the point of this is, but it's cool that I have something else to check up on the aid in my homework procrastination. Woohoo! So what is our first deep topic of debate or discussion...or blogcussion as the case may be?

ready...set...GO!

So it’s interesting how things repeat themselves. Do you notice that? Of course you do, we’ve talked about it. So, one thing that’s kept coming up for me recently is God’s radical love. It’s amazing! And I know we all know about the love of God. One story that keeps coming to mind (and actually class lecture) is the story of Hosea. This is one of, if not my favorite story in the bible. It’s all about God’s love! If you haven’t read it for awhile I’d suggest doing it! It talks about the miraculous love of God for his people. This brings up a whole myriad of topics but the one I’d like to emphasize is God’s love in general and how we need to show it to people. So, what does showing God’s love to people accomplish? Why’s it important? How often do we miss people, not just ignore them but fail to notice them? That’s a question that’s really scary to me (Luke 16:19-31). Do we love people on our own terms? Just a few questions, maybe they’ll be of interest to y’all, maybe they won’t at all. Comment, post new things, whatever. Let’s get this up and going!

I have no deep thoughts. Why invite me you?

the start of a beautiful thing

I love that we talk about deep things, and I also love that we now have a place to do so. This doesn't mean that we have to stop talking about them in real life or that we should. I don't want to do that. This way, though, we'll have a place to put thoughts we have about a subject we've been talking about when they come to us at 3:30 at night and no one is awake (except for me). We can elaborate and just have an open discussion line. So start posting!