Let's start with some things we know. I'm attending a
I hear my roommates talk about getting to places of great need as soon as arrangements can be made, and I want to be at that point with them. I want to take nothing but what I carry in my heart and head and go.
Then I get a call from a sister. My sister calls me, and I can tell, even over the phone, that she's broken-hearted and pulling her ever amazing trick of hiding it. I want to take nothing except what fits in my heart and head and get out of here... again. It becomes difficult to pin down just which place needs more help.
It seems this whole semester has been me struggling with wanting to be some place other than the place I am in. What I've been deciding is... I'm in a place. Live here! Regardless of views of God's will and whether He or I have landed me here, I am here. I'm going to school. I'm part of this community. So I need to be living in it and being thankful with every day.
Something's still bothering me, though. What about being called to other places? Do I so avoid the call of God that I'm rationalizing too much? I listen to my pod-mates, and I feel like a coward. I'm failing to see how my graphic design degree is of vital importance to the kingdom. Biology/Biochemistry majors acquire medical knowledge and go out to help people. Bible majors acquire knowledge to have better insight into people’s situations and such. Graphic designers... well they... hmmm... oh yeah… aaahh… get people's attention? What?! How sad. What a pitiful calling if that's all there is to it. So finally, an outright question... Do you all ever wonder about this stuff? Do you ever feel like you're rationalizing your way around the call of God? Have you (hopefully) come upon a God-formed conclusion? Pray tell... : )
That was lengthy a little.
7 comments:
Wow! My little sister thinks really deep.:) You and my husband should start talking deep sometime (around midnight seems to be the best time for him.)
I totally know how you feel Laura. Up until about three months ago, all I ever thought or talked about was Ukraine, how much I wanted to be there. How there were so many different people who needed, and wanted my help. How being here in America just stifles all that I am or want to be. I thought all the time that if I could just get out on the mission field, I would then feel complete, because I would be doing what it was that God wanted me to. And it's true, I just don't feel like I'm in the right place sitting here in Lubbock, Texas. I feel like I need to be out helping to spread God's word.
It was at a camp this July that I realized I wasn't content. It wasn't my new husband, and it wasn't that I was in the midst of a beautiful forest. I took one of those deep looks at myself and discovered it was because I haven’t been letting myself be content. I really just wanted to be anywhere but here, anywhere but America. I realized there is a lot to do here in America until we leave for New Zealand. A lot of things that there are many people who could do them, but they won’t do it. Someone needs to step up until others will. So, that’s what I’ve chosen to do. And yes there is a lot to do, but don’t do too much to where you can’t do well in school or you wear yourself out. You also have to remember that Jesus didn’t start his official ministry until he was 30. (Not that He didn’t do anything before, but he waited until he was done with school and such things.)
All of this is to say that there are many things that need to be done all over the world, no matter where you are you will find someone who needs a friend, who needs lifting up out of a nasty pit (even if they got there all by themselves.) My opinion is God brought you to this place, and do all that you can while you are in the place where He put you. He brought you here for a reason, do what He wants you to do!
As for getting the call from your sister, I’m ready to fly home myself. Wanna come? Thing is…God has someone who will be there for her at home. They will give her just want she needs. It’s might be a swift kick in the pants as soon as she gets pulled back together. I love you lady, and I love your heart. I know are wise beyond most your age, and probably me as well, I know you’ll know what to do when it comes about.
I think a lot about rationalizing myself out of stuff because I do it in pretty much every area of my life. But here's my newfound wisdom from Ken and Karen. If I leave everything now and just go straight to the mission field, skipping med school and all of that, then I won't be fulfilling all of God's plan for me. I'll be wasting my talents. So don't waste any of your talents. Find a way to use them all to God's glory. And I know that that sounds like a platitude, and in some ways it is, but I needed to hear it tonight. Another thing I needed to hear kind of touches on what you said about living the life you're in. Karen told me that God doesn't give people just one option, that a lot of times there are several different ways that you can be doing exactly what God wants and no matter which of them you choose, you're exactly where you need to be.
As for the relative usefulness of people's majors, I'm sorry if I ever make you feel like what you do isn't important. Art touches people in a way that nothing else can. It is extremely valuable, just not in the same way that medicine is. And I'm not even sure that I'm doing the right thing in biochem or if I'm just allowing myself to do what's easy (in terms of what's in my box, not intellectually). So I don't know. I guess my point is, you're not alone wondering whether you're in the right place doing the right thing or not. And I do think that you're right about living where we are in the present. I need to do that more.
BTW, I hope all of that made sense. I'm tired and stressed out.
So, what I'm about to say ties in, but also sort of goes off on a tangent into something I was thinking about the other day. I really don't consider God when I'm thinking about choosing/pursuing my major. I'm soley focused on myself: what do I like, what best fulfills ME, what do I want to do, etc. And as you all know (and more than occassionally make fun of) I get rather tangled up in figuring it out (among other things). So, at nine o'clock last night Derrick was talking about how Jesus is the Truth. I was thinking, maybe that's it. That if I am willing to discover God's truth, that everything will make sense, that I won't be confused trying to figure out MY truth.
Melanie, my dear, dear friend - I love that you're continually trying to figure things out. I think maybe that letting our minds just work on things can be really frustrating but also incredibly rewarding (sometimes!). I think you're on to something here, lady. Maybe it's a bit PLATITUDINOUS : ), but what you mentioned reminded me of Psalm 37:3&4 - Trust in the Lord, and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. It seems like David recognized what you've pointed out for me again. If I take delight in the Lord and in his truth, my desires are going to be the same as his desires for me. I like that. It's not about giving up your dreams. It's about seeking God’s truth and noticing those dreams fall in step beside Truth. Also pretty encouraging when you don't really know where things are going to end up! I can dig it. Thanks, Melanie.
p.s. Please feel free to tell me to shut up if I write too many songs about your preoccupation with indecision. : )
Why, Laura, you sound positively Piper-esque...be careful.
Before Jesus began his ministry, he spent 40 days in the desert. This was a time of tempting and I believe at the same time training. He was only in ministry for 3 years and he "was led by the spirit into the desert." The time of testing is tough but I think, like you said, there are places of service everywhere you are at. Thanks for the post!
Laura, this is kind of a short and shallow response to your very serious questions, but I can think of one little way you could use your graphic design for Kingdom purposes at Minter Lane right now.
OK, maybe that was a bit over the top, but this is a real need. Want to design a Minter Lane graphic/logo/symbol? Sometimes I find that I want to use a symbol for Minter, but I don't have one.
My thinking has been as follows: I was thinking about the three crosses up front, the one in the middle and the two shadow crosses. But then I couldn't figure out how to do that. Then I thought about the building image--until I remembered that we have a, well, not-really-beautiful building and I dont know how to do that anyway.
Because you see, I'm no graphic designer. Any thoughts?
Peace, Karen
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