So I noticed at church on Sunday how empty the auditorium is when all the college students have left. When I was in high school (and 8th grade) I noticed that the auditorium seemed a little empty, of course, but never really. I didn't really care so much, because I had superficial relationships with the college students, at best. Everyone I cared about was around all year (vacations excepted, of course).
This Sunday was sad, though. Not that I didn't like the people who were still here. And I would have sat with Jenny Garrison on Mother's Day no matter what. But it was still sad that everyone was gone. And it's going to be like that all summer.
Which leads me to another point... How do those of you who go away for the summer feel about going home? Obviously, you have a new set of experiences to share with your friends and family, and a lot of catching up to do. But other than that, is it the same?
What exactly is home? How long does it take for home to change?
Okay, that's all. And it wasn't that profound. Mainly I wanted to tell everyone that I miss them desperately. And I know you don't like blogging about daily life, Laura, but make sure you let us know how you're doing, even if you don't tell us every single thing about your day.
I hope everyone has a wonderful week. I'll start thinking about a real post now, and hopefully I'll have something more profound to put up soon.
Oh, and btw, Michelle and Laura, I've started Alias. Stupid suspenseful endings! I'm going to kill you both. : )
5 comments:
I miss you, too! I miss everyone. The thing is, when I'm at school I miss everyone at home. And so, I've decided that college should not end, as I've been telling Nancy, but instead it should simply move to my house. Now that we have all that figured out... I'm glad you posted about this. I've been thinking about it a lot because for me home is just the same. My best friends and I are still best friends and we just fell back into routine like the past nine months were just another year of high school or something. My house is still the same, aside from the move my parents are getting ready for (really sad, by the way). My town is the same. The only thing that's different is that I have really amazing friends and relationships with people eight hundred miles away that none of my friends/family here know.
I was walking with my friend tonight. Walking's always been our out. We've walked off countless frustrations and heartbreaks. We've walked while studying for exams. We've walked miles in our town down the same streets that we walked today. This, though, was our first walk back. There wasn't anything abnormal about it. Going for another walk, just picking up as if things weren't different. At one point, though, I just briefly had a thought about my best friends from school. Then I realized that Paige knows your names. She could probably even pick you out of pictures (because she's good like that), but she doesn't know you. That's weird for a friend as close and great as Paige is to me. For me to have these close relationships with people she's never even talked with. Weird, but not.
So I've decided... : )... going home after a year of school is weird simply because it is not.
I've also decided that my house, since I've never moved, has a ton to do with my home. It's not just because i think the house is cool (which I do) but it's because things happen here. Memories make home, too.
When I first moved to school I was so adamant about it not being my home. It would never replace my home. It didn't. But it definitely became something close to home. A word needs to be added to the English language to describe this.
I propose (not to Marcella) that we come up with a word for this phenomena... ready set go.
A few side notes: I had to sing The Doxology after our services on Sunday. People didn't know what I was doing, but I did it anyway... I miss Minter. : ) Good luck with the Alias, Sarah. And just so you know, you can't kill us. We were trained by Sydney and Jack Bristow... and Chuck Norris. : ) I'm glad we have this blog. Let's keep talking about this some... there's a ton of stuff to consider about home, I think. Maybe we should even talk about community!!! dun dun DUN!!! I like it.
Home is very different from school for me. And unlike Laura, I'm the only one who has left. All my friends are either 1) in high school still, or 2) are in college locally, right in the same town living with their parents. So, yes, life has moved on, but it is all in the same context whereas I am the only one who has moved on. It makes me wish I was here and didn't miss it all. There are friends from JALC and the musical that had the same relationships and experiences this spring uniting in doing a show that I missed out on. The community continued even without me, and now I am not so much a part of it. And I'm not going to lie, that fills me with longing. Can you really unite those relationships again after so long a break in communication?
Now, sometimes I feel like I am an insensitive or un-emotional person for this, but I really never get homesick. I never have. Sure, sometimes I get lonely (mostly on Sunday afternoons), but I am usually content and happy where I am and enjoying every minute of it. Laura, I get your idea of moving school to your house, I've often wanted to take Abilene and transplant it in a more aesthetically pleasing geographic location.
One thing that is for me very different from school/home is the availability of my friends. I enjoy school so much because I am constantly surrounded by the people I love, and I've never really had that before...hanging out all the time with super cool kids like you. At home, I have some great friends, but it takes a lot of planning to get to spend time with them. Every few weeks or so I might get to hang out as opposed to the sometimes 24 hour friend fest we enjoy.
I think it is interesting how I can come back and it's all the same. I act the same, my family is the same, sure there are some independency issues that may arise at some point, and we have different stories, but I come in and fill the same role I left 8 months ago.
Community...hmmm...I think it forms you and forms life. Honestly, all of my experiences in life could be weighed by the quality of the community not of the specific experience. The happiest times I've ever had are when I've been surrounded by friends I love. The worst have been when I was alone. I think community exists to point us to God. I often tell myself...think about how much you value that relationship and how you treasure the love you know that individual has for you, and that's what God wants to have with you.
What shall we call this pseudo/very real home we have at ACU? Stone Soup? It isn't home in terms of where we originated, but it's home for everyone comprised of the origins of everyone here. Something involoving Sarah's token english paper word: juxtaposition? Ooh...biblical reference idea...what if we call it ingrafted? Just my brainstorms.
Ok, I officially count at overly emotional now because every time I've read a post on here, I've started crying. I miss you all a whole whole bunch. Laura, what's your address and I'll start making arrangements???
My summer has been rather interesting so far. It started out really stressful because my mom was a basketcase. We found out a few weeks ago that my grandfather's health was failing, but he hadn't told anyone about the dizzy spells and fevers, or the fact that he stopped eating. It scared my mom silly. That with the stress of Patrick's graduation meant that my first weekend home consisted of comforting my mom through a series of crying jags.
Because of that stress, I decided that I needed to be home with summer, spending as much time with my grandfather as possible, especially since I'll be in Oxford next semester. So I quit Leadership Camps. Instead, I've got a parttime job working at a local television station running cameras. It's fun and not too challenging, but it gives me enough time off that I can spend it with my family.
Other than that, I've been to almost every library in Abilene to check out books and more books to catch up on the reading that I don't get to attend to during "college."
So my life is different. I can't really go on about the friends that I returned to because I never had many close friends in high school and we've definitely drifted apart already, just as I predicted we would. It makes me a bit sad, but I do still have my Abilenian friends to hang out with and of course, the Blog to keep in touch with all of you.
Congrats on the job, Nance. I walked by the magazine racks in the library and saw a journal on herpetology and thought of you. Hope it doesn't bother you to be thought of everytime I see a snake! :)
I like the idea of creating our own word for the home environment created at ACU. But at the same time, I don't have any suggestions. I'll have to think on it somemore.
Thanks for posting, guys. Everyone who has not posted has been warned... : ) So that's three votes for moving college to my house. Anytime you're ready just come on up. ha. If you don't call first, though, you might have to sleep on the floor. I'm not sure it's a comfy floor! Also... I now have a job for awhile. So college might be boring some in the day. Oops.
Kayla - I really am sorry to hear about your grandpa. You've got prayers from up here.
I'm really glad that everyone's summer is decent. (Except Layla's, but since I'm sitting here with you now, I'll just say that if you need/want to talk, I'm here)
And I'm especially happy that Nancy figured out a way to count frogs. Sounds like it will be fun!
Umm, I have nothing to say right now, so I guess I'll talk to you guys later.
Love you all.
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