So I found this song on iTunes recently and I like it a lot, for obvious reasons and just cuz I like the Dresden Dolls.
bad habit
biting keeps your words at bay
tending to the sores that stay
happiness is just a gash away
when i open a familiar scar
pain goes shooting like a star
comfort hasn't failed to follow so far...
and you might say it's self-indulgent
you might say its self-destructive
but, you see, it's more productive
than if i were to be healthy
& pens and penknives take the blame
crane my neck & scratch my name
but the ugly marks
are worth the momentary gain...
when i jab a sharpened object in
choirs of angels seem to sing
hymns of hate in memorandum
and you might say it's self-indulgent
and you might say it's self-destructive
but, you see, it's more productive
than if i were to be happy
and sappy songs about sex and cheating
bland accounts of two lovers meeting
make me want to give mankind a beating
and you might say it's self-destructive
but, you see, i'd kick the bucket
sixty times before i'd kick the habit
and as the skin rips off i cherish the revolting thought
that even if i quit
there's not a chance in hell i'd stop
and anyone can see the signs
mittens in the summertime
thank you for your pity, you are too kind
and you might say its self-inflicted but you see that's contradictive
why on earth would anyone practice self destruction?
and pain opinions are sitcom feeding
they dont know that their minds are teething
makes me want to give mankind a beating
i'm tried bandages and sinking
i've tried gloves and even thinking
i've tried vaseline
i've tried everything
and no-one cares if your back is bleeding
they're concerned with their hair receding
looking back it was all maltreating
every thought that occurred misleading
makes me want to give myself a beating....
makes me want to give myself a beating....
My question is, should I listen to songs like this? Should I read books like Sharp Objects (very good, btw)? Or should I avoid any mention of something that is very tempting? Should we expose ourselves to a certain level of temptation in order to build up an immunity, or is that just asking how close we can get to the line before God gets mad?
7 comments:
I'm so glad you posted, my friend. I miss hearing from you, and I was afraid I had ruined the blog by changing it to the new system.
I almost didn't post a comment just now, so I could think about this a second longer before responding. However, since you posted two days ago, I feel like you're probably at the point where you really just want someone to say something... anything. I hope that's the case. : ) I have a gut reaction. That reaction is to be open. Talking about things is good, I think. Just listening to songs and reading books that produce feelings that are detrimental without gaining positive reflections from other people is probably bad. I feel like benefits can be gained in the long run from taking in things and discussing them with other wise and mostly-unbiased people. I also feel like if you just avoid something, it has just as much chance, if not more, of sneaking up on you. If you just try to ignore something and don't have other people endeavoring to understand where you're at and give advice from that point of view, my thought would be that things would end up worse than if you had just been open to begin with.
As I said, this is a gut reaction. Also, I'm drowsy, so apologies for the incoherence or possibly not addressing the actual question. I really think you should Kajukickface (since you're surely a pro by now) people and get them to change their IDs and comment! That way I can be aware of different points of view. It seems like I remember something about that as the reason for starting a blog... hmmm...
Commenting on the blog. Or even reding it... What a novel idea, Laura. I appreciate your comment and would love another one when you are more awake.
I tend to agree that one should address stuff instead of ignoring it, but then again I may be a little biased because that's what I want to do.
And Laura, I will try to "convince" the others to start blogging. But I'm afraid that I don't have your beautiful form, so mebbe not.
I think that it really depends. Obviously. Can you look at the song objectively? Can you sympathize and enjoy having someone else express what you've felt/feel? Or does the song drag you into a world you are trying to crawl out of? Caution: I'm going to use a completely cliche analogy here!!! You know how they talk in overcontrived youth classes about the chair and if your 'worldly' friends are dragging you down or if you are pulling them up? I think your question is a little like that. Are you on the chair, above the song, or is the song making your loose your balance and topple down? I love you sarah, and it was so fun to hear your voice momentarily on Skype. We should actually plan a skyping time, you and I. Are you going to be around Abilene the week after finals (a.k.a. will I get to see you before August)?!
Being open about your struggles is one thing, but focusing on your pain and problems may not be the most effective way to heal. In a way, listening to songs about something destructive that you really want to do might be like looking at porn when you want to cheat on your wife--it's not a healthy coping mechanism. Acknowledging struggle with sin is also completely different from glorifying it, as this song seems to do. So I agree that openness is good, but the fact that you yourself have questions about whether or not this is healthy is in itself a red flag. I don't think "exposing oneself to temptation" really ever builds up an "immunity," in answer to your question. Biblically, we are told to flee from temptation! I also don't think "trying to get close to a line" will make "God get mad." It's not as if God came down and gave you a rule not to cut yourself (or commit any other sin) because God is somehow mean and wants to keep you from fun. God wants what's in our own best interest, and it's pretty obvious that that rules out self-destruction (which is basically all sin).
So this would be my suggestion in your situation and in similar instances of temptation--run away from anything that makes you want to do something wrong. Don't pretend you're perfect, either. Find people and places where you can be open about your struggles, but not in ways that make you want to regress. Ultimately, each person must honestly decide if something promotes healing, or is just an excuse for indulging in temptation to relive sin or to wallow in pain instead of healing.
I agree with our friend Ma'am/Sir anonymous. This is good. Listen to this comment is what I think. : ) Also... make people change their blog status. I'm gone. I'm out of the country. I'm across the ocean! You should fill in for me, friend. : ) That is all.
Hmm. I should start bugging people about switching blog formats. In fact, I'll post a large sign right now...
Okay, anywho, thank you for your insightful comment, anonymous. And yes, Mel, we should schedule a skype time. I'm definitely in favor of talking to you. And yes, I'll be in town to see you guys when you get here.
I love you both. And maybe I love anonymous. I don't know.
Love you, Ms. X-phile! And love the question...
I was going to post my response first and THEN read the other comments--but instead I read the comments first and rats! Anonymous said what I wanted to say. So--what s/he said is most of my comment.
Apparently, I have no thoughts of my own, so I'll add something that Ken has said that makes a lot of sense as well. Regarding how close is too close to the line, he relates it to our marriage: "So Karen, if I were to get such-and-such close to another woman, would that be OK? Yes? OK." Next question: "How about THIS close?" and so on... Wouldn't I have a problem with the very question? Wouldn't I be wondering, "What's up with that, Ken? What are you saying?"
So I say I should avoid such songs or whatever if there's an inherent risk in a particular way for me. Why? Because I don't want to try to get as close to the brink as I can without falling over; I want to be as far away from the brink as possible, because that's where God-in-me lives.
I must go, because, since we're talking about keeping clean, our water was turned off for a number of hours today for some building purpose down the street--and they just turned it back on. I'm going to run and take a shower before they change their minds and turn it back off!
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